Category: Life - Silent Rogue
            What child has not had fantasies of mythic adventures in a faraway land? What child has not felt the joy of immersing oneself into the universe of a wonderful and beautifully told epic? What child? One that has been deprived of true joy in childhood and robbed of the power of imagination. Stories allow us to live our dreams and unlock endless possibilities within ourselves. “It is not true that we have only one life to live; [through stories], we can live as many more lives and as many kinds of lives as we wish” (Hayakawa, S. I.).

            Stories (in films, novels, comic books, television shows, and history books) have captivated my imagination for as long as I can remember, and it is this fascination that developed into my storytelling passion. Ever since I was a child, I have loved not only hearing stories but also telling them. I began to tell tales with the use of hand made comic books. The Alpha Stick Comics Studios (as my two friends and I called ourselves) published well over twenty epic graphic novels of varying lengths, which were all received quite well by our fans. Eventually, though, the studios had to be shut down as high school came into the picture, but that only brought new opportunities to further my creative capabilities.

            In high school I joined the school's television station and produced numerous shorts. I also wrote a few short stories and narrative poems and even started working on four different book series. However, my passion for storytelling did not lie within words on a page or even in public interest videos. My passion for storytelling needed images that could speak a thousand words with numerous emotions and could engulf the viewers into a strange new universe. What I needed was a film crew. With them, I was able to make exceptional films that allowed our group to almost completely sweep the school's film festival. After high school I continued to make films on my own. I created many short clips of varying subjects and entered a couple film festivals. In my spare time, I still try to perfect old films and work on new ones as well.

              It is this burning passion of storytelling and film making that drove my desire to become an cinemartist. However, I didn't just want to be any typical filmmaker. As cliché as it may sound, I wanted to change the world. I wanted to create films that will have some significant impact on the world by following in the footsteps of those like D. W. Griffith, Steven Spielberg, Akira Kurosawa, and even Al Gore. Because of the popularity of films, I believe this effect can realistically occur. I am sure that others will have a story that they must tell the world, or they may want to give their audience an escape from the tribulations of society. These are great reasons to study film, but I want to do more. I want to inspire others to action with my films – to take them away from the dredges of this world while also providing them with a method to experience the true beauty of life.

            I hope to accomplish this goal by feeding off of my philosophy in life. I believe that our lives are all that we have. Even if there is an afterlife, we will not be the same beings, and because we only have such a short time, it should be our goal in life to leave an imprint upon the world. After our deaths, we will be remembered by those that knew us, but after their deaths, we will be left to sink into the sands of time. Thus, it is our priority to leave a lasting legacy. This philosophy is what drives me to excel in everything I do. I can think of no better way to leave a mark than by positively changing the world, and I see no better way to do this, than by creating films that will inspire this change. I realize though, that the tides of the River Time wash away all things – Rome fell; Ozymandias is no more; and even the grand Emperor of China has been dethroned. However, the influence of anything great still exists, and that is what I wish to do – leave some positive influence on the world for ages to come.

            While I know what I want to do, I have not perfected a method of conveying my message. I will sharpen my skills, allowing me to instill emotion and inspiration into my audience, and begin to create works of deep significance and eventually achieve my goals. However, other than my love for recounting grand adventures, who am I really? Words on a page cannot allow you to truly understand someone's character. Even the greatest film ever made could not accurately portray the full essence of any one person. It is with the hope that I may proceed towards that end that I do what I do.

Read the first act of my script "Resonance"!

It's about a prodigy doctor who copes with the loss of a past love and comes to acknowledge a budding new one all the while dealing with his grave illness.

It's a tragic romance drama with comedy. Call it a dromgedy. It's amazing. READ IT!

Let me know what you think or if you want to read more!

It's been a while since I posted here. I've been focusing my attention on my tumblr since it's a much easier process of regurgitating simple and short thoughts that cross my mind or sharing other images and videos that intrigue me. So, it's time to update this blog again:

I've recently been working on a feature length script about a young doctor suffering from cystic fibrosis who has never been able to get over his ex leaving him for his brother. On the surface, it's a story about this man's relationships and his fight against his progressing illness, but on a deeper level, the film is about the unbreakable bond that is forged between two people once they meet, and the connection that lasts even after years of absence.

The protagonist Grant is obsessed with his memories of Richelle and has never been able to forgive his brother for getting together with her. What's worse is that his family supports his brother and his "true love" with Richie. Upon hearing news of their engagement, Grant becomes possessed by the idea of winning Richie back and struggles to make it happen. At the same time, Grant's personal assistant Cheryl, who has been his rock tries to win his heart over. The changing relationships between these characters forms the focus of the film, but the alienation and reconciliation of Grant and his family also takes a strong role.

In essence, I am trying to create a raw human drama where the characters involved learn to accept and appreciate their stages in life and move towards the future with bright eyes and open hearts. One cannot go through this life alone, but trying to focus on gaining the attention of a singular being while ignoring all others around becomes just as detrimental. Humans need balance, and when obsession or lack of closure begins to come into the mixture, the balance is upset, and an unhealthy situation is established.

By the time I finish this script, I am hoping that it will forge a connection between the audience and the individuals on screen and convey a message of hopeful progress.

I think it is because I have such lofty goals for this script that I have been unable to settle on a name. Normally, I have a title decided before I even start writing, but this one has just been difficult. Temporarily, I have settled on the name "Eye to Eye," but I am by no means pleased with it. I have toyed with ides like "Revolving Door," "Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom," "Grant Repose," and horrible ones like "Moving On," "Heartfelt," and "Relating" without being satisfied by any. I guess I just haven't found the perfect words to describe the entire essence of the film. (I'll take any suggestions you have to offer by the way!)

And with that, I must return to this story of love and growth. I would tell you how it ends, but I'll save it for the actual film release. As always, it's been a pleasure...

Earlier today, I was at an event for the Children's Hospital of LA, and I had the pleasure and privilege to be inspired by a girl of about 15 who aspires to perform on Broadway. Partway through the event, this girl came on stage to deliver a speech as the other former patients of CHLA had given before her, so I didn't really expect anything profound. How wrong I was. This girl, who has survived multiple cardiac illnesses and numerous operations and procedures, came on stage and delivered a well-crafted speech that was delivered with the finesse of a politician. However, what hit me the most was a single sentence she uttered. It struck me with awe because as I listened to her, I realized the struggle she has had to overcome, and yet she perseveres through it all. I surprised myself in the amount of respect I felt for her - not only because I have never met this girl personally but also because I am not normally a person who jumps to great admiration of another so quickly.

The sentence she uttered was: "Hearts are judged not on the amount of love they can give but on how much they are loved." In the instant that I heard that sentence, I immediately refuted it in my mind. I have always felt that hearts must be judged not according to the perceptions that others have of you. If we try to bend ourselves to the whims of others, where does that leave us? Should we not judge a heart on the amount they care for others? Does that not give them the essence of human decency? Are we expected to succumb to the desires of the exterior if we are to be judged positively? These are the thoughts that entered my mind as I heard her go on about her experiences, ambitions, and hopes.

While I can say for sure that I hold fast to my belief of placing the importance of loving over being loved, I must admit the alternate intrigues me. While the context of the statement by no means indicated such, the idea that judgment is made upon the notion of how much we are loved says a lot. In the eyes of those around us, our value is placed on how much we are loved and how we are praised publicly. It matters very little (and possibly nothing) how much the love we hold in our hearts for others. Let's face it, when was the last time you admired someone for their ability to share and convey love to others? Now, when was the last time you looked up to, admired, praised, or commented on celebrities? While (most/some) celebrities are deserving of their fame, it is not for their ability to love that they are praised. It is because they are loved by others that they are praised even more. It is the mob mentality, and the world is reduced to a generalized drone.

I don't know which side of the equation is heavier, or even if it is an equation, but I hold fast to my opinion of loving surpassing being loved. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just can't justify judging more positively those who are simply loved more over those who have the heart to love with real passion...
So, I realize this blog has taken somewhat of a depressive turn recently, but I guess I just have a lot on my mind...

Life can take you on some astonishing directions when you really start contemplating yourself. Think of life's journey as a bridge held up by strong columns of ambition, hope, desire, and security. This bridge can be followed with little thought, and it will lead to destiny, but when you start thinking of where you are coming from, where you are headed, why you are who you are, and whether any of it even matters, the bridge begins to split into directions that lead to vast unknown regions enshrouded in foggy uncertainty. Some paths may lead you backwards, some may be dead ends, and some may be difficult to follow, but none will be as perfect as the original, and when you realize that fact, the bridge collapses. The strong foundations holding it up disappear as if they had never existed, and you're left free falling into an endless pit. That queasy feeling in your stomach doesn't go away, and directionless, you are left with nowhere to go but deeper into the darkness that will prove to consume you.

You suddenly realize that you never had anything at all. What motivated you before doesn't motivate you anymore. Your smiles fade in mere seconds, and your body is weighed down by an unseen dark shadow tearing away at your soul - at the very essence of who you thought you were, or who you fooled yourself into believing you were. That strong vision you built up of yourself is suddenly unmasked to reveal a scared, lost little child.

You know, confidence is an interesting subject. It's not hard to convey to others, even if you don't have it. You pretend to be unphased by life's challenges, you brush off everything that could be seen as weakness and move forward without looking back. Of course, this isn't possible without building walls: walls to keep yourself from looking back at the pains of the past, walls to keep your thoughts contained, walls to protect you from every little thing that can and will be tossed in your direction. Unfortunately, these walls are mere illusions for yourself. They won't keep you from being haunted by the past; they won't keep your mind from wandering, and they sure as hell will never protect you from anything. These walls only have one purpose, and that's to fool both yourself and others to believing you are confident.

Too bad it doesn't work... Can people really be deceived as easily as I think they can be? Do they even care enough to notice? Is that why I've lost motivation for everything I ever cared about before? Is that why I feel so fucking isolated from everyone and everything right now? Funny how it just takes a small thing to spark thoughts that have have piled into your mind for ages...

To all those who care, thanks for listening...

And to all those who don't give a shit... FUCK YOU

Happy Valentine's Day

Do we ever truly know who we are? Is it possible that because we know ourselves so well that we do not know ourselves at all - or at least are blinded by our self biases? I can think of no one in my life that knows close to even half of the things that go on in my mind or of the experiences that I have had. While this is definitely a personal matter that I have chosen to follow for my own reasons, it leaves the question of whether anyone is truly able to judge my actions, choices, and thoughts in a manner that justifies or at least reflects some semblance of absolute truth (if there is even such a thing as absolute truth). However, if those individuals in my life are incapable of truly judging accurately, am I any better a judge? While I have complete insight into my personal thoughts, actions, and inspirations, am I not privy to too much personal bias? Will I not always read my personal choices as the best ones made at the appropriate times, and will I not just accept that certain paths are unquestionably trod upon? Or rather, if regret were to rear its ugly head, would I not associate it with personal desires? It is highly unlikely that a truly objective assessment of the self can ever be made - even with the wisest and most introspective of souls. Who or what then can act as a true gage of the value of individual choices? Certainly, one can try to exhibit the most intimate nuances of their existences, but it is highly doubtful that a full display can ever be provided. Even if an individual were able to convey every minute detail, reasoning, and motivation, will not the personal take of the receiving individual once again corrupt the idea that objective judgment is impossible? So, where does this leave us? To truly understand who we are and why we do things in the most accurate manner possible, we cannot look to others, and we cannot look to ourselves because there will always be the very human obstacle of personal stake. It is then to be noted that we can never truly realize ourselves for who we are. We can never understand our choices completely, and we can never predict our moral path. While this premise is sound, I choose to reject it - and that too with the very essence of human existence: hope. While we cannot truly assess ourselves objectively, we can still attain a level of judgment that can resemble absolute truth in its role. We may never be able to truly know who we are, but we will never be so lost as to look into the mirror and fail to recognize ourselves. Never.
Indecision - Luke Chueh
You know it's happened to you before. You want to do something, but there's this something (maybe you) standing in the way stopping you from what you want. You try to find a way to make it all work, and you realize you have just two options: pick one route and stick with it, or wait it out and see what happens (hoping all the while that the world will work out for you). Well, when you write it down, the choice seems pretty simple doesn't it? But when it's a big life decision, it's not that easy to just pick a path and follow it without hesitation. I mean, you're determining the rest of your future, so how can you simplify the situation to a black and white state of mind? Feelings can sometimes conflict with logic, and necessity may be put on the back burner for a more flippant mood. I guess what I'm trying to say is: When you are in a situation that determines a significant portion of your life, you need to first be able to determine if it is a matter of the mind or a matter of the heart and then follow whichever it is full-force. Then, after determining that distinction, you have to make your decision with either your heart or your head in mind. I'm not saying it's easy - trust me, it's not, but I've had a lot of time to think this through, and I figured I'd share my insights into living life in this deliberative world.

As always, it's been a pleasure. Until next time, friends.




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So, it's been a while, hasn't it? I took some time to figure out some things in my life, and I'm glad to say that everything is just as it was before. Life is life, and you just live it. So, I decided it's time for me to come back. You might say I had a bit of an identity crisis. You might say that I was unsure of what I wanted. You might even say that I was a lost lamb in a sea of despair. You might say all that and more, and I can't stop you from saying it, but you would be wrong. I am back with a deeper resolve, a more emphatic ooh-rah, a more resounding huzzah. This is my wake up call. Here I am. Back from a bout of amnesia. I am no longer confined by the woes of anonymity in my own mind. Does this mean that I have shaken off the moniker of "Silent Rogue"? Not likely. In fact, I have returned ablaze with passion. Here's to everything I have missed thus far, everything, that I have stated here, and everything that will propel me into the future.

What did I just say in that paragraph above? I really have no idea, but enjoy the funny comic about amnesia below. (Unfortunately, I have no idea who made its since I found no attribution...)
Have I been slacking on this blog recently... Yes, yes I have...

Life's been pretty hectic recently, but I'm glad to say that I will be back to my usual posting within a week.

In any case, if you have a tumblr or a blogger/blogspot account, please go ahead and follow me on both! Both of the accounts actually redirect to right here, but if you want to have me on your feeds, be sure to add or to your feeds.

(I'm working on getting the wordpress account also, but someone apparently already has it... which I'd be fine with, except that they don't use it, and have not touched it in over a year... *sigh* - sadness).

Anyways, be sure to add me to your feeds, and until next time...
So today was a nice day. I had a great time with some great friends and got some work done too.

I decided my old youtube channel should be used a bit more, so I went ahead and customized the look of it. I still haven't added any recent vids to it, but I will be getting to that soon. Check it out here.

I also finalized a design for my personal business card, and I am in love with it. Check that out here.

Also, I perfected my resume template to both highlight my skills and look professional and unique with a beatufil design. You can check it out here. Just kidding, I haven't had the chance to add all my stats onto it, but I'll put it up soon if anyone is interested.

Life's going good right now. A few kinks always persist, but I'm hoping to work those down and enjoy a bump-free ride.

Until next time, mates...